Guidelines on how to charm and win people over

March 4, 2019 General Tips on Charm



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12 + Guidelines on how to charm and win people over

[/title][/one_full][one_full last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]One of the most important and key ingredients to being a successful entrepreneur – or even getting ahead in your career – or even meeting the right partner, is to know how to deal with people. You have to be someone people instantly like, remember and want to interact with and do business with if it’s a business relationship or want to socialize with if it’s a social gathering.

That’s whether you’re meeting people for the first time, at networking events, seeing a new clients for the first time or shaking hands with potential customers – being able to charm and win people over is an essential life skill. The sooner in life you learn these skills the easier things would seem and doors will open.

The imperative question is how do you make everyone like you? How do you become the sort of person that everyone would like to talk to? The type of person people look forward to seeing again?  I don’t claim to be an expert but would gladly dispense my advice freely which I guess is a form of nostalgia born out of my own meandering experiences (Trust me I still make plenty of mistakes and as we go on our journey together hopefully we can share these mistakes) but here are some guidelines on how to charm anyone…[/fusion_text][/one_full][three_fifth last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 1: No one is interested in you

The quickest and easiest top tip to remember is this – no one cares about you. They don’t want to know about you. They’re not bothered about where you’re going on holiday. They’re not impressed that you once rubbed shoulders with celebrities (I have and it’s not the hype you expect it should be). They don’t even care if you’ve got an upcoming operation a life threatening illness… All they care about is themselves.

With this in mind, become the kind of person who is interested in other people because we all love the opportunity to talk about ourselves – so imagine how popular you’ll be if you’re allowing others to talk as much as they like! Take into consideration that allowing them to talk about themselves allows you to see their character in depth (That is if you are actually able to listen) Trust me given the chance most people can waffle off and contradict themselves over and over again, but enough about those types of people now, we might discuss how to handle them in a later article.

Ask people lots of questions, be genuinely interested, ensure the conversation revolves around the other person their interest’s, families etc., retain eye contact constantly, smile, and ask further questions – most importantly, enjoy listening. You might not end up saying much, or talking about yourself but it doesn’t matter. This is all about charm, and allowing people to chat about themselves is the easiest way to win them over. BIG TIP here is try remember things they sound passionate about like the puppy that was very ill, if they talk about that a lot remember it so that you can enquire about the puppy when you see each other again strengthening your charming position.[/fusion_text][/three_fifth][two_fifth last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 2: If people ask you questions…?

If you’ve followed rule number one and have allowed the other person to do all the talking, they may ask you questions in return. In which case, be prepared to charm by following these simple tips – always keep your answers short and relative to the question short and sweet; don’t go into unnecessary details or waffle; be humble and don’t show off; for example if the other person has a small poodle don’t brag about the size of your Great Dane in comparison, and finally, don’t bring up anything negative, political or inappropriate here it is best to stay neutral… keep things light, fun and interesting, and you can’t go wrong.[/fusion_text][/two_fifth][three_fifth last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 3: Use the sweetest sound in the world

When you first introduced to someone, repeat their name to remember it and then drop it occasionally into the conversation. If you like me (I am exceptionally bad with names) repeat it in your head a couple times nothing worse than referring to John as Paul or vice Versa. So for example, ‘Hi Tom, I’m Andrew ‘, you could even add a pleased to meet you and if you have heard good things about the person add the punchline I have heard so much about you, (Don’t use that line unless you have because it could blow up in your face refer to Guideline 1 when the person says but I’m sure you heard this about me – and you have no clue)  During the conversation use their name as many times as it is appropriate and feasible in the conversation, again if appropriate forcing over usage can be a turn down. Repeat it once more when you say goodbye. Here especially be careful not to say things like “okay Bud” or “Pal” or “My Friend” the person may not be comfortable enough yet to accept that level of ease at this point.

The sound of our own name is the sweetest sound in the world, and people will really warm to you if you say their name and remember it. BIG TIP here if the person is introduced or introduces themselves as Andrew DO NOT abbreviate it and call them Andy or Drew unless they themselves say something like just call me Andy (I personally hate it and I am sure many others do as well) If a person was introduced to you as Mr, Mrs, Doctor, Professor or any other title continue using that title till they tell you otherwise.Click edit button to change this text.[/fusion_text][/three_fifth][two_fifth last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 4: Weakness is off-putting

Just like a dog can smell your fear for dogs so can people always smell weakness, particularly if you’re shy or lacking in confidence? They’ll sense something isn’t quite right and might take an instant dislike to you. Work on your social skills and become comfortable in your own skin. Use a mirror to see for yourself, how you would look, practice it if you have to it’s to your benefit. Walk into a room with your head held high, become extremely confident around other company and speak up. Never look down at the ground and your feet, they know where they going no need to guide them.

You are worth a hell of a lot more than you believe, and you deserve just as much success as anyone else. Stand tall and bold. If you’re struggling with this find a confident role model and copy their body language and mannerisms study them extensively if you have to. Soon enough, you’ll be boldly walking up to people and introducing yourself without a care in the world. And before you know it people will be asking the other people around who is that person. Not because you came across as humble or cocky but your confidence and presence overpowered the encounter.[/fusion_text][/two_fifth][three_fifth last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 5: Get your body language right

Body language is very important, so practice in front of a mirror or with a friend until you get it right. You want to ensure your arms are open and not crossed; that your legs are relaxed and not crossed and that overall, you look relaxed and approachable. Simple Mathematics Crossed Arms + Crossed Legs = you look Cross!!

Best way to achieve great body language? Work on feeling relaxed and comfortable in your own skin. People who tend to cross their arms or cover their mouths or fidget with things can come across as being insecure and that can be off-putting.[/fusion_text][/three_fifth][two_fifth last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 6: Using your tone of voice to sound charming

Your tone of voice is just as important as body language. You want to avoid being loud or shouting or possibly sounding as if you are coming across as aggressive, Best to use a relaxed, gentle tone of voice. You also want to practice the art of assertiveness, i.e. getting your point across confidently without being defensive or aggressive. Work on your self-esteem as well and get used to hearing the sound of your own voice softly and gently. Nobody wants to be remembered as the loud-mouth of the occasion or the clown, normally both don’t get very far.[/fusion_text][/two_fifth][one_half last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][imageframe lightbox=”yes” lightbox_image=”https://beauty-on-line.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/charming4.png” style_type=”none” bordercolor=”” bordersize=”0px” borderradius=”0″ stylecolor=”” align=”center” link=”” linktarget=”_self” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ hide_on_mobile=”no” class=”” id=””] Charming[/imageframe][/one_half][one_half last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][imageframe lightbox=”yes” lightbox_image=”https://beauty-on-line.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/charming.jpg” style_type=”none” bordercolor=”” bordersize=”0px” borderradius=”0″ stylecolor=”” align=”center” link=”” linktarget=”_self” animation_type=”0″ animation_direction=”down” animation_speed=”0.1″ hide_on_mobile=”no” class=”” id=””] Being Charming[/imageframe][/one_half][three_fifth last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 7: Use the right language

Keep conversation professional at all times by using polite language. Back to what we said in Guideline 1 nobody is interested in your problem, bad holiday or irritating neighbour. For example, never say ‘Ay up!’, or Hi always say ‘Hello’ instead. And don’t forget your manners. Please and Thank you show a well-groomed all round good person. BIG TIP here is never use Oh! Please or Oh! Thank you. That can be seen as condescending and not genuine. Also, try and keep everything as positive as you possibly can. Don’t bring up the awful ride you had on your way over or complain about the state of the economy. Charm people over by talking about polite, professional and happy things.[/fusion_text][/three_fifth][two_fifth last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 8: Smile!

A smile is infectious. Everyone loves a happy person, so smile and be happy to be around others. Here I would like to warn that most people can see threw a FAKE! Smile so work on ensuring that your smile comes across as gentle yet happy even on your bad days. Your happy state of mind will shine through and make you very likeable. If, on the other hand, you’re grumpy or disinterested – it is obvious to say that you won’t leave a very good first impression, or a lasting one so smile![/fusion_text][/two_fifth][three_fifth last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 9: Praise others instead of getting involved in gossip

Whether you’re at a networking event or in a meeting, people tend to talk about others at times in a negative way, at times not entirely obvious keep yourself alert about this fact especially if it’s a competitor they may be talking about. To combat this, don’t get involved. Instead, say something really positive about that person or company however small it may be.

What comes to mind here is a conversation I was privileged to hear about where everybody was asked what they thought about the new E Toll System implemented in South Africa, obviously all the negative came out about the consumers not been consulted and the cost of it and so it went on, one lady sat quietly and said nothing till she was asked by the head complainer in the crowd (As we mentioned in Guideline 2 “What if people ask you questions”) Her reply was sweet, charming and closed the conversation. “All she said was the Lights sure look pretty at night when you pass under them”.

This attitude is the way I believe you should live life and I always find it works very well because it shows how sincere and trustworthy you are. I hate gossip and I get a very bad impression of people who bitch, moan and complain about everything. If you want to charm people, steer clear of the backstabbing and become a nice person instead.[/fusion_text][/three_fifth][two_fifth last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 10: Find their interests

If the conversation is quite slow, try to discover the other person’s hobbies or passions. Do they like football? Are they into Formula1? Do they have a tan…? Ask them if they’ve been on holiday. When you find a topic that makes their eyes light up, ask lots of questions and be genuinely interested in their passion, even if it’s something you’re not bothered about. They’ll love you for it. Yet here you should be careful don’t make the mistake I have before and get involved in which team is the best English Soccer Team WOW those guys are passionate (You see I do not follow soccer at all and made the mistake of seeming to have an interest in Soccer) Try to stick to a topic you can actually participate in even if only slightly.[/fusion_text][/two_fifth][three_fifth last=”no” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 11: Don’t people-please

There will be the odd occasion when you need to speak your mind or share a certain point of view that others might disagree with. In which case, still keep things light but be open and honest. You have to remember that being charming isn’t about ‘people-pleasing’. You still have to believe in yourself and your own principles. People will always respect your opinion – just make sure you express it in the right way and that what you say is factual, Nobody likes a Smart Ass who actually is expressing their views on a topic they have very little or no knowledge of.[/fusion_text][/three_fifth][two_fifth last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

Guideline 12: Remember the little details

To stay charming, if you cannot commit to memory all the details of a certain person find a moment to write down the little details about those people so you remember them for next time you meet. For example, a new client might tell you about his wife and new baby… so next time you see him, enquire about how mum and the baby are doing. This is a great way to show people you care while making them feel important.[/fusion_text][/two_fifth][one_full last=”yes” spacing=”yes” center_content=”no” hide_on_mobile=”no” background_color=”” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” background_position=”left top” border_size=”0px” border_color=”” border_style=”” padding=”” margin_top=”” margin_bottom=”” animation_type=”” animation_direction=”” animation_speed=”0.1″ class=”” id=””][fusion_text]

FINAL GUIDELINE:

Be consistent, be genuine, and make the commitment. Do not use charm to weasel your way into a position or out of one or change when you in certain company. Work towards being yourself and if you reading this a better version of yourself is what I hope is what you are striving for. You all heard somebody say sarcastically that Joe or Jane is SOOOO Charming, they actually telling you that Joe or Jane turns the charm way up high till they have what they want then turn into a not so nice version of themselves,

Strive not to be that kind of a Charmer and you will gain extensively. That type of charmer is eventually caught out and that can end very unpleasant!!

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